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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25186246">A Story Only We Can Make</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiningparty/pseuds/shiningparty'>shiningparty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Uta no Prince-sama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Light Angst, M/M, ill add more tags as the chapters come out, some refs to other idol series, this could honestly just be titled gay panic the fanfic, this fanfic is bottom tokiya rights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25186246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiningparty/pseuds/shiningparty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tokiya was never one for falling in love and things of that nature. He was too awkward, too nervous, too afraid. He had always assumed he was destined to be alone forever. That was until he met Otoya. Now, all Tokiya can think about is those stupid, cute lips of his and how much he wants to kiss them. If this was what falling in love was like, maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguji Ren (mentioned), Ichinose Tokiya/Ittoki Otoya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Read Between the Lines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi and welcome to self indulgent fanfic time! i love tokioto so much and i wanna see some more top!otoya content so here we are hope you enjoy tokiya's gay panic with me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was no secret that Tokiya loved to read. Whether it be longwinded fantasy novels or suspenseful mystery books, he always found comfort in sitting in the library with a paperback in his hand. He would get lost in the book for hours on end until the intercom came on, reminding everyone of the library’s closing time. Of course, it was hard to have time for this, what with his busy work schedule at the record store and his big pile of homework from his classes. He made time for reading in the spare moments in his schedule and made sure to put as much attention as he could into cherishing each page. Even today, he sat in his usual spot in the back of the library with a thick novel set in his hands and his eyes completely glued to the pages. He was oblivious to the sounds of the doors opening as feet approached his lonely table. </p><p>“Is anyone else sitting here?” A voice asked from above. Tokiya looked up to meet a pair of bright red eyes that seemed to twinkle with excitement. They belonged to a young man around his age with tousled red hair and smooth tan skin. Tokiya would be lying if he said he didn’t find the boy attractive, what with his athletic physique and inviting gaze, but thoughts like that were forgotten as he realized how long he’d been staring. </p><p>“No.” He said bluntly. </p><p>The boy flashed a grateful smile, showcasing his bright white teeth that looked as if they could rival the sun. </p><p>“Ok, thanks!” He said before sitting down. He proceeded to reach down into his bag and retrieve a laptop and a pair of headphones before turning back to the table. He delicately plugged the headphones into the laptop before scrolling around and clicking something with a small smirk. Whatever was playing caused him to tap his feet as he silently mouthed the words to himself. Tokiya couldn’t tell you why he was watching long enough to see him do all of this, but he found himself unable to look away. Eventually, he managed to pull himself away and turn back to his unattended novel, situating himself so that he could re-immerse into the fictional world. On occasion, his eyes would glance up at the red-haired boy, watching his mouth move so he could discern what song he was listening to. However, if even the slightest amount of eye contact was made, Tokiya would retreat into his book, rereading the same sentence before returning to stare at the boy. They played this little game for about ten minutes until the boy finally slid the headphones around his neck and turned to face Tokiya again. </p><p>“Can I help you with something?” He asked. There was no malice in his voice, nothing bitter or mean spirited either. It was a genuine question phrased behind a sugary sweet smile. Tokiya felt like gagging.</p><p>“Nothing.” He stated. “I was just distracted by your music. I could hear it past your headphones.” That was a lie, but anything was better than admitting he was staring at his lips. Tokiya had taken note of the boy’s soft pink lips, which seemed to glisten from whatever chapstick was on them. He pondered what flavor he used. Cherry? Bubblegum? Mango? He mentally kicked himself to abandon that train of thought as the boy smiled at him once more. </p><p>“Really? Sorry about that!” He looked down at the headphones with a frown before turning back to Tokiya. “These things are old so the sound quality is trash. Not to mention I like my music loud. Sometimes my brother jokes he thinks I’m gonna go deaf eventually.” </p><p>As much as he wanted to avoid it, Tokiya couldn’t help but release an airy laugh, a simple exhale through his nostrils as the beginnings of a smile formed on his lips. The boy immediately returned to his signature grin as he pushed his laptop halfway closed. </p><p>“What’s your name, by the way?” He asked. Tokiya adjusted the book in his hands, surprised by the sudden addition of conversation. </p><p>“Ichinose Tokiya.” He said. The boy stuck out his hand towards him. </p><p>“I’m Ittoki Otoya. It’s nice to meet you Tokki!” The two shook hands briefly but seemed to linger at the palms. </p><p>Typically, Tokiya hated the idea of nicknames or any form of affectionate name-calling for that matter, but he seemed to like hearing his name coming out of Otoya’s mouth, even if it was shortened. Eventually, they let go of each other’s palms, noticing how long they had been stuck there. A tint of blush colored Tokiya’s cheeks, which he hid behind his book in a failed attempt to end the conversation prematurely. Despite this, his eyes still cut to see what Otoya was doing and immediately hid once again as he realized the boy was patiently waiting to continue talking. </p><p>“If you wanted to know, I was listening to <i>Manifesto</i> by Gyroaxia. You ever heard of them?” Tokiya bit back a smile, grateful that the conversation was still going despite his anxiety. He straightened out the book and focused on the page once he gained his composure. </p><p>“They’re that up and coming rock band, aren’t they? I’ve heard them play live a few times.” Otoya’s smile widened as he leaned closer to where Tokiya sat. </p><p>“Yes! I’ve been meaning to see them perform for a bit now! Most people look at me crazy when I bring them up, but I’m glad to see you’re a man of taste.” He laughed. Tokiya shrugged his shoulders, his aloof persona starting to crack as he noticed how small the distance between the two of them had become. He could smell the cologne that Otoya wore, something cheap but still nice enough that it wasn’t off-putting. It reminded him of the air before it rained, which made his heart pound even more. Rather than formulate a response, Tokiya opted to leave the conversation there so that he could finally return to his original purpose for being here. He had spent too much time entertaining Otoya. He should be focused on finishing up this chapter before his alarm went off to signify the end of his break. He was allowed silence for about thirty seconds until Otoya decided to speak up once more. </p><p>“What’s that you’re reading?” Tokiya looked up from the same sentence once more as Otoya gestured towards the cover of the book. “Must be really good since you seem so distracted.” </p><p>Tokiya wanted to tell him he seemed “distracted” because he didn’t feel like continuing the conversation and was actively trying to avoid embarrassing himself, but instead, he closed the book and showed off the cover so that Otoya could see it. </p><p>“<i>Fly Me to the Moon</i>?” Otoya read aloud. “Like the Evangelion song?” Tokiya bit his tongue from correcting him, as the song was originally sung by Kaye Ballard, followed by Frank Sinatra. He would have to deduct points for that. </p><p>“Though they share a name, the book has no relation to the song.” He stated. </p><p>“So what’s it about?” Otoya asked. Tokiya folded his arms against the table as he placed the book back down. Why did he keep playing along with this little game when he knew it would go nowhere? He barely knew this kid, yet he was already plotting on tasting his chapstick. He needed to get a grip on reality before he fell off the deep end. And yet, as logical as that sounded and though the reasoning was definitely airtight, he still found himself willingly going along with the conversation, craving for more. He was desperate with a capital D. </p><p>“It’s set in the future where humanity has decided to leave Earth and inhabit different planets. These two boys try to escape Earth after they were left behind by their families. If they fail, they run the risk of being captured and killed by the government. At first, the two hate each other and plan to give each other up, but they start to grow closer as they realize how similar they are.”<br/>
Otoya released a low whistle as he listened to Tokiya speak. </p><p>“Sounds pretty intense.” He said. Tokiya hummed in agreement. He knew Otoya would be put off by the novel. Not many people were understanding of his love of books, which made it even more difficult for him to make friends, to begin with. Even Ren and Syo, as nice as they were to him, never seemed to grasp whatever book Tokiya was obsessing over at the moment. That’s why this table was always empty, and he was sure it would be empty again tomorrow after that blunder. He returned to reading the pages, actually taking time to absorb the words and understand his place in the plot. He assumed Otoya had returned to working on his laptop and hadn’t paid any mind to the sound of the chair squeaking from across the table. </p><p>“How far in are you?” Tokiya’s heart nearly jumped from his chest as he slammed the book closed. Otoya’s voice was much closer now, directly next to his ear to be exact. The scent of his cologne had become stronger from how close the two were and Tokiya felt his stomach go sour at the smell. When did he move over? Why was he sitting next to him? And why were those stupid, cute lips of his so dangerously close to his face? </p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?!” Tokiya hissed. Otoya stifled a laugh as he held up his hands defensively. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” He stated. “I looked up the novel and saw it seemed pretty cool so I just wanted to read a few pages to see if it was something I would be interested in. That was probably weird of me to just leer over your shoulder like that.” </p><p>Of course, it was weird, Tokiya thought, but part of him didn’t seem to mind it too much. The library was a bit colder because of the AC and Otoya’s body radiated a pure warmth that softened Tokiya’s tense fingers. He should’ve told Otoya to go back to his seat. He should’ve told him that he was invading his privacy. He should’ve gotten up and walked away because Otoya was a nuisance but he did none of those things. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and moved the book closer so that Otoya could read as well. </p><p>“All you had to do was ask.” He muttered. Otoya grinned again as he leaned over to read the pages, giving them a few centimeters of distance. Their shoulders were dangerously close to touching, so close that if either of them made a move they could finally feel one another, but both parties remained glued to their seats. Tokiya couldn’t tell if Otoya was actually reading or not, but he tried not to think about that as he continued to skim over the pages. He was lucky he was just rereading the book, considering Otoya’s reading pace was marginally slower than the quick glances Tokiya took. Halfway through the second page, Tokiya finally decided to speak up as he noticed Otoya’s eyebrows furrowing. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” He questioned. Otoya turned to face Tokiya with a sheepish smile. </p><p>“I probably shouldn’t have jumped in during the middle of the story. I’m lost.” Tokiya sighed once more, placing his bookmark back in place before turning back to face Otoya. </p><p>“I’ll give you a brief synopsis of the beginning.” He stated. Otoya was grateful for the explanation, although Tokiya noted how confused he seemed at certain points. He made sure to be thorough so that there would be no more questions or interruptions during the rest of the reading session. </p><p>“Does everything make sense now?” He asked. Otoya nodded his head. </p><p>“Thanks. Sorry for being such a bother.” Tokiya darted his eyes away to stare back at the pages. </p><p>“Not at all. I don’t mind the company.” He said. They continued to read for the next twenty minutes until Tokiya heard his phone vibrate from his pocket, signifying the end of his break. He looked down at the screen with a solemn gaze before carefully packing everything up. </p><p>“Where ya goin’?” Otoya questioned. </p><p>“I have to go to work now, unfortunately,” Tokiya explained. Otoya frowned up as he watched Tokiya toss his bag over his shoulder. </p><p>“That sucks, looks like we’ll have to finish the chapter tomorrow then.” He stated. Without even thinking, Tokiya didn’t correct him. </p><p>“Right, same time then.” He stated. Otoya nodded his head as he dug his phone from his pocket.</p><p>“We should exchange numbers so that we can keep in touch.” He explained. Tokiya looked down at the device like it was the first time he was seeing one. He was exchanging numbers with a cute guy he met in the library. There was going to be a next time. Mentally, Tokiya was screaming and jumping like a schoolgirl who got asked out to the dance, but he managed to hide this as he took the phone and carefully typed in his information without so much as a smile. Otoya smiled down at the newly added contact before turning to face Tokiya once more. </p><p>“I’ll see you around Tokki!” The two parted with a small wave as Tokiya exited the library into the hallway and began to head towards the exit. Right as he was going to open the door to outside, his phone sent out another vibration, which came from an unknown string of numbers. </p><p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; (908) 5572-451</i><br/>
(908) 5572-451: Hey, it’s Otoya! Thanks again for letting me read your book, hope we can finish the chapter tomorrow＼(≧▽≦)／</p><p>Tokiya reread the text a thousand times in his head, each one numbing his brain until it felt like complete mush. As soon as he made it outside, his head was buried in his hands as he opened his mouth to release an earth-shattering scream. His table wasn’t going to be empty tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The First Impact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tokiya experiences his first (of many) gay panics so ren and syo come to the rescue</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That evening, much to his dismay, Tokiya found himself trapped in a group facetime call with both Ren and Syo. The trio had formed together after the fall semester, where they all took the same statistics class and hated every second of it. Even though their personalities were all over the place, they managed to bond over simple things: like their shared love of watching bad movies or their hatred of understanding probability. However, what really kept them together was their favorite pass time: talking shit. It was quite easy, as Ren was one of the most popular guys on campus and could get information almost instantaneously. Syo was pretty much friends with everyone so he was good for verifying the validity of each rumor. And Tokiya was mostly along for the ride as the voice of reason to chime in when things went too far. They were unstoppable as a unit and a force to be reckoned with when working together. </p><p>Today was no different, as Ren drabbled on and on about how some girl caught two students hooking up in a bathroom. His camera was positioned so that the other two could see him apply his makeup in front of the mirror, while Syo’s was pointed towards the ceiling and Tokiya’s was off entirely. It was a slow day in the record shop, which meant that he was allowed to sit on his phone and wait for his shift to end. They listened to Ren go on, with Syo occasionally chiming in to complain about how gross it all was, but Tokiya couldn’t find it in himself to even attempt to act interested. </p><p>No matter how much he fought it, his mind kept going back to Otoya. It was all too good to be true. Some cute guy coming up to him in a library and wanting to read a book with him? It sounded like a plot ripped from a shoujo manga. There was no way Otoya could really like him. It had to be a prank, right? This was all just some practical joke and the punchline would be that Otoya was never gay and Tokiya was weird for thinking so. Or maybe the gag was that Otoya never liked Tokiya to begin with and was doing this all on a dare? Or he could just serve as an experiment to see whether or not Otoya was into guys? That wasn’t uncommon. </p><p>“Tokiya!” Syo screamed in his earphones. Tokiya jumped a little as he came back to reality, staring down at the screen to find both Ren and Syo staring at him despite his camera being off. He turned it on and faced them with a large scowl. </p><p>“Why are you yelling? I’m right here.” He whined. Syo crossed his arms with a bitter frown. </p><p>“Like hell you are! We were calling you for the past five minutes and you didn’t say shit. I know we’re annoying but damn! You could’ve said something.” <br/>Tokiya rolled his eyes as attempted to avoid their questioning eyes. Why did he always have to get caught in his lies? </p><p>“Look, I’m just distracted is all.” He explained. <br/>Ren’s lips curled into a smile as he started to apply his foundation.</p><p>“Don’t tell me. Is it time for another infamous ‘Ichinose Tokiya gay panic’?” He asked. </p><p>“I’m not sure what you’re referring to,” Tokiya replied with a frown. </p><p>“Ichi, honey, there’s no need to act dumb. It happens every time you start to like someone. You fall for them, then you sike yourself out cause you don’t think they actually like you, so you end up pushing them away and regretting it for the rest of your life.” <br/>As always, Ren never missed a target. He hit the bullseye effortlessly, but Tokiya would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that. </p><p>“I don’t think it happens that often.” He muttered. </p><p>“I hate to say it, but Ren’s right about his one,” Syo added. “You keep convincing yourself that you’re unlikeable when there probably is someone out there who wants you.” </p><p>Tokiya’s frown deepened, but internally he couldn’t deny that they were right. From a young age, Tokiya had convinced himself love wasn’t his forte. He was sure that, when he became an adult, he would most likely be one of those people that owned multiple cats and lived by themselves. It’s not as if he didn’t try to seek people out. He had downloaded both Tinder and Grindr, upon Ren’s ‘suggestion,’ but neither truly appealed to him. Too many people were either looking for sex or looking for sugar babies and Tokiya had no intention of supplying either.</p><p>“Look, can’t the two of you just pretend this is the first time I’ve come to you about this sort of thing?” He said. Ren began packing on his eyeshadows as he stared into the mirror. </p><p>“Fine, fine. Tell Papa Ren and Uncle Syo what happened.” <br/>Tokiya closed his eyes for a moment, allowing him to gather himself together as he prepared to explain his story. His cheeks already felt hot before he even said a word as the sheer image of Otoya’s lips so close to him sent his heart into a feverish cadence. </p><p>“Well, I was in the library earlier today when this guy comes over. He asks to sit down and I say yes and we don’t really talk for a bit. I ask him about what he’s listening to and we start talking about music, but then he asks about the book I’m reading. I explain it to him and he asks if he can read it with me. I say sure and, next thing I know, he’s sitting beside me trying to read the book while I read it.” <br/>Ren paused in applying his eyeshadow and released a low whistle. </p><p>“Well, isn’t he direct? That’s a good trait to have. Maybe this one can actually top you.” He joked. Of course, he was never going to let Tokiya live down his crush on Masato. How was he supposed to know that Masato just also happened to be a nervous, needy bottom? </p><p>“Either way,” Syo said with an irritated huff. “What happened after that? Did you just go your separate ways?” </p><p>Tokiya shook his head. </p><p>“He asked me if I wanted to finish the chapter tomorrow and I said sure, so he gave me his number.” </p><p>The pure joy that Ren and Syo had on their faces was almost horrifying to look at as they smiled back at Tokiya with the worst shit-eating grins imaginable. </p><p>“Why do you look like that?” Tokiya asked after a while. </p><p>“Oh my god, you dense gay fool! He likes you!” Syo exclaimed. Tokiya could feel his stomach drop at the cursed “l-word.” </p><p>“How are you so sure of that though? What if he just sees me as a friend?” He explained. Ren narrowed his eyes as he dug around for his eyeliner. </p><p>“Tokiya, what straight guy would sit next to you and read a book with you ‘as a bro?’ He obviously wants your dick!” </p><p>Tokiya winced once more at the crass language. Did he think Otoya was attractive? Absolutely, but that didn’t mean he was thinking about any form of sexual relationship with him. He just wanted to hold his hand and give him a few kisses. Sex would just be a later bonus if things worked out. Not that he was hoping they would or anything. He had to be ready for rejection.</p><p>“So, can we get a name?” Syo asked with a sly smile. The blush on Tokiya’s face deepened as he shook his head. </p><p>“Absolutely not!” He declared. </p><p>“Why? I could find his Insta and then you could see for yourself whether or not he’s gay.” Ren noted. </p><p>“No. I don’t want any meddling in this. If I’m gonna do this, I want it to be completely natural.” </p><p>It wasn’t uncommon for Syo and Ren to involve themselves with Tokiya’s love life. That’s how things worked out with Masato. Tokiya was especially lucky considering Ren had known Masato since childhood. Almost immediately, Ren told Tokiya every single detail about Masato from the number of moles on his face (five) to his favorite ice cream flavor (matcha.) That was all Tokiya needed to realize that he and Masato weren’t meant to be, as he apparently had more qualified suitors yearning after him. </p><p>“So, just for the record, you are going through with this, right?” Syo questioned. Tokiya stared at the screen for a while, his eyebrows beginning to furrow with thought. Ren and Syo were most likely right; there was no way Otoya would do all of that if they were just friends. There had to be some form of connection between them, no matter how small. And yet, part of him still wasn’t too sure about any of it. He had been burned before and he wouldn’t be surprised if he was burned again. Otoya didn’t seem like the type to do it, but then again, what did he know about Otoya? He only just met the kid today. He could very well be a serial killer trying to harvest his organs. Okay, maybe that was too far, but the idea still stood. He barely knew anything about Otoya, so how was he so sure he was the one? After a while, he finally took notice of Ren snapping his fingers at the screen with a large scowl. </p><p>“Earth to Ichi, you gonna answer the question?” He said. Tokiya stared at their expecting eyes and felt his stomach lurch. </p><p>“I’ll think about it.” He said instinctively. “I’ve gotta go; a customer just walked in.” Without so much as a goodbye, Tokiya hung up the phone and placed his head into his hands. He could feel his head pounding, yet his heart still fluttered all the same. Even if he knew nothing about Otoya, he knew one thing for certain. The boy had him whipped.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. When Worlds Collide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this took so long! ive been fighting off some serious writers block so it was hard trying to finish the whole chapter. its a bit longer but hopefully it'll be entertaining. hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Besides Statistics, Sociology was another course that Tokiya found hard to enjoy. As a Biochemistry major, he wasn’t used to the social sciences and how wishy-washy they could be. He preferred definite hard data, not speculation or correlations. The only reason he even took the class was because of his social science requirement for his degree, which he still didn’t see the point of. Luckily, Syo was majoring in the subject, which made it easier to have the tougher concepts explained to him. He also wasn’t alone in the class, as Ren had similarly waited until the last second possible to finally get his social sciences breadth out of the way. He wasn’t much help when it came to assignments, but he was a small comfort when walking to and from class.</p><p>The walk to class was supposed to be short as their dorm was closeby, but it seemed to drag on each day as Ren prattled on about whatever was on his mind. Usually, the focus of conversation would be how Ren and Masato spent the night together or figuring out what the answers for the last homework were. However, today’s focus was on the one thing Tokiya had no intention of talking about. </p><p>“For the last time, Ren, I’m not telling you his name,” Tokiya said as they sauntered down the path.<br/>
Ren crossed his arms with a playful pout. </p><p>“Look, I’m not asking for his full government name, just give me the first letter,” Ren said. Tokiya shook his head, focusing on his phone to avoid turning around and hooking Ren in the jaw. For someone who prided themselves on being “mature,” he had a penchant for being unbelievably whiny.</p><p>“As I said a thousand times before, no.” Tokiya spat.</p><p>“C’mon! Does it start with an A?” Ren asked.</p><p>“No.” Was the dry reply.</p><p>“R?” </p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Y?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“K?” </p><p>“What part of ‘no’ are you not getting?”</p><p>“The ‘no’ part.” They continued on like this for the remainder of the walk, each guess getting farther and farther away from the actual answer. When they finally reached the classroom, the conversation was halted entirely as Ren was bombarded by a hoard of girls waiting to receive his attention. For once, Tokiya was thankful for how annoying they were. Ren was charismatic and found it easy to make friends in class, unlike Tokiya who stayed in the back and only spoke if he knew an answer. </p><p>The only time he’d interact with classmates was if they were forced together, in which case Tokiya would most likely take the lead and do most of the work. For that reason, Tokiya was labeled--by Ren--as the ‘Ice Princess’ of the school, as ‘Ice Queen’ was reserved for Masato. He didn’t mind being alone as he used the opportunity to look over notes or listen to music. He leaned back against the wall as he watched Ren chat with the swarm of girls, the sounds of old citypop playing softly in his earphones. However, just as Junko Yagami was about to reach the chorus of <i>Bay City</i>, a single voice could be heard throughout the entire hallway. </p><p>“Tokiya!” For a brief second, everyone’s eyes darted across the hall to find the source of the sing-songy voice, and as soon as Tokiya saw that fluffy red hair, his heart stopped. Otoya skidded to a stop in front of him with the giddiest grin plastered across his face. </p><p>“I-Ittoki,” Tokiya stammered. “What are you doing here?” </p><p>“I just switched to this Sociology class the other day. I didn’t know you were in it too!” As much as Tokiya longed to yell at the boy, that goofy smile was enough to satiate the rage he felt. Otoya was wearing blue denim overalls with a white graphic shirt and sneakers, making him look more like a middle schooler than a college sophomore. There was no other word Tokiya could use to describe him other than adorable. </p><p>“Looks like we’ll be spending the rest of the semester together,” Tokiya said. Otoya eagerly nodded his head. </p><p>“I’m looking forward to it!” He cheered. Just then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, Ren managed to slip from his harem and joined their little gathering, slinging an arm around Otoya’s shoulders. </p><p>“Ikki! I didn’t know you and Ichi were familiar with each other.” He said. Otoya bashfully scratched at his hair. </p><p>“Well, it’s not like we know each other too well. We only met each other the other day.” He explained. Ren’s eyes brightened as he brought Otoya closer to him. </p><p>“Really?” He said. “Where’d you two meet?” </p><p>“The library.” As soon as he had said it, that signature devilish smile flashed onto Ren’s face as he made eye contact with Tokiya. The longer Tokiya stared into his eyes, a train ticket out of Tokyo seemed all the more tempting. Maybe he could go to Hokkaido? Natsuki lived in Hokkaido. He’d probably be more than happy to house Tokiya, but he would also have to eat Natsuki’s cooking. Then again, was that really a huge sacrifice considering the level of embarrassment he was currently experiencing? Fukuoka was another option. It was on the other side of the island and nowhere near Tokyo, but that would also mean returning home, which Tokiya had vowed to never do. Well, there were countless prefectures in Japan; he was sure there was somewhere he could run to. </p><p>“I think we can start heading inside,” Otoya stated, pulling Tokiya from his trance. The students had already begun milling their way from the hallway into the classroom, leaving the trio to be the only ones left outside. They traversed their way to the back of the class, where there just so happened to be an empty seat next to Tokiya. Ren turned around from his seat to give Tokiya a wink, which Tokiya responded to with a stern scowl while Otoya simply smiled and waved. </p><p>Class proceeded as normal as it could go, the only difference being that Tokiya now had someone constantly whispering questions to him or making small comments about whatever subject they were looking at. Most of Tokiya’s responses were stock answers: reminders of what page they were on in the textbook or small laughs when needed. Normally, he would shush someone if they made too many disruptions, but there was a strange comfort in hearing Otoya talk. Maybe being in the same Sociology class wasn’t so bad after all? Maybe he could handle the rest of the semester going like this? </p><p><i>BZZT-BZZT!</i> Tokiya looked down as a new notification popped up on his phone screen. </p><p><i>Tokiya&gt;&gt;&gt;Ren</i><br/>
Ren: sooooo do i bully you now or later?? </p><p>Tokiya rolled his eyes as he looked up to find Ren smiling at him once more. His hands pointed to both Tokiya and Otoya beforemiming what Tokiya quickly came to realize was sex and which left his face to become unbelievably hot again.</p><p>Tokiya: die<br/>
Ren: love you too😘<br/>
Ren: but not as much as ikki loves you!!!</p><p> </p><p>After three classes starting from 9 AM, Tokiya was exhausted to say the least. He longed to soak his feet in his footbath with some lavender scented Epsom salt but instead was seated in the sitting area of the campus’ Starbucks, waiting for Otoya to finally arrive. According to his phone, it was 2:33. Otoya had said they were meeting at 3. To be fair, Tokiya had arrived thirty minutes early, but he knew if he didn’t get there early he would probably flake out. Was he desperate for arriving thirty minutes early? Probably. Did he care? Absolutely. He had already looked at the price of train tickets. There was a 5 PM train to Saitama that seemed pretty tempting, but no, no. He was not going to flake out. He could do it. It was just a simple outing as friends. All they were going to do was drink coffee and read. He could read, right? Evidently he couldn’t if he arrived thirty minutes early to his first date. He still had two hours before the train left; he could buy a ticket and have enough time to pack all of his things to move away. No. Stop that. No flaking out. He could do it. Right? </p><p>“Tokiya!” Was the sing-songy cry, just as loud and boisterous as it had been in the hallway. Tokiya’s back straightened to be as stiff as a board as he watched Otoya dash over, a large black case slung over his shoulder along with the canvas bag he used for school. In his hand, he had some whipped cream concoction from the Starbuck menu and took the occasional sip from it. He ran up to the table and slightly bowed his head in apology. </p><p>“Sorry to keep you waiting; I had to grab a few things before I got over here.” Tokiya shook his head, noting that they were still ten minutes ahead of the scheduled meeting time. </p><p>“No worries,” He said. “I was the one that showed up too early.” Otoya chuckled a little, airy and light like cotton candy. He placed his things down and slid into the seat across from Tokiya, giving him his full attention. Tokiya’s eyes drifted back to the large black case seated behind Otoya’s chair. </p><p>“What’s that?” He asked, gesturing towards the general area. Otoya cocked his head to the side with a smile. </p><p>“This? It’s a sea salt ice cream frappuccino! They’re really good.” He explained as he held up his drink. Tokiya frowned as he pointed to the actual case. </p><p>“I meant the giant thing sitting behind you.” Otoya’s smile brightened as if he had been waiting to hear the words. </p><p>“Oh! That’s Ol’ Reliable.” He proceeded to move the case from behind him, slowly unzipping it to reveal a sleek, red acoustic guitar. It looked well taken care of, although Tokiya could tell it wasn’t a brand new purchase. Both the case and the guitar itself were covered in random stickers from bands and anime, some that Tokiya could recognize and others that left him drawing a blank. Overall, it wasn’t a bad looking guitar and that earned Otoya some points back in his book. </p><p>“You play guitar?” Tokiya questioned. Otoya nodded his head as he lifted the thing from its casing. </p><p>“Yup! I’m self-taught too. I could show you if you want?” His fingers were almost immediately on the strings in preparation for tuning, but Tokiya held up a hand as a smile began to play on his lips. </p><p>“Maybe not in the middle of a Starbucks.” He joked. Otoya shrugged his shoulders as he placed the guitar back. </p><p>“Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that happened here but I understand your concern.” The two boys shared a laugh, the kind that was genuine and hearty not the brief exhales and snorts that Tokiya was used to. The warmth was building in his chest, spreading throughout his body to his very core, while his lips were pulled into a pleasant grin. This boy had to have some sort of magic to him; there was no way someone’s smile could be that contagious. And yet, here he was, grinning and laughing like a grade-schooler. Tokiya hadn’t realized how long it’d been since he had a good laugh like this.</p><p>“When did you start learning guitar?” He asked. Otoya toyed with the buttons of his overalls as he thought back. </p><p>“Honestly since I was really little, like back when I was eight. My aunt bought me this dingey toy guitar when I was like five and I’ve been hooked ever since.” The joy on his face as he reminisced seemed to mask a distant sadness that Tokiya chose to ignore. Things like that could be unpacked once they’d gotten past the honeymoon phase. </p><p>“I guess you and I are alike in that regard. My parents had me take lessons for multiple instruments, but piano is the one that stuck for me. Although I know a few songs on guitar.” </p><p>Otoya perked up like a puppy wagging their tail. </p><p>“Really?! Can you show me?” </p><p>The word ‘no’ was already on Tokiya’s tongue as soon as he heard the question, but the longer he stared into those puppy dog eyes, he felt his heart melting in an instant. </p><p>“Maybe later.” He said, averting his gaze to the ground. </p><p>“I’ll hold you to it!” Otoya laughed. “What other instruments do you play?” </p><p>Tokiya shrugged his shoulders, counting the instruments on his fingers with a bored expression.</p><p>“Violin, viola, flute: my parents mainly chose instruments that they could tolerate listening to for extended periods of time, so the drums were never an option.” </p><p>“I’m guessing you mainly listened to classical music growing up.” </p><p>“For the most part, yeah. My parents weren’t really fond of music, so I had to learn about all the new age artists when I got older.” </p><p>“Do you have a favorite artist?” </p><p>“Not in particular. I mostly listen to stuff from the 80s, but I have been branching out to some modern artists like Argonavis and KitaKore.” </p><p>“You listen to BPro?! I didn’t take you for the type to like idol music.” </p><p>“What can I say? It’s a guilty pleasure of mine.”  </p><p>“That’s fair. My guilty pleasure is Bubblegum Pop, to be honest.” </p><p>Tokiya raised an eyebrow as he looked over Otoya once more.</p><p>“You? Listening to Bubblegum Pop?” He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips at the idea. </p><p>“I see you laughing now, but you can’t lie and say that Printemps doesn’t make any bangers. <i>Puwa-Puwa O</i> was a bop!” </p><p>Before he could stop himself, a single snort slipped from Tokiya’s mouth followed by stifled giggles. Almost immediately, he covered his mouth, his face burning up and going cherry red. The smile that crept onto Otoya’s face only seemed to further his embarrassment. </p><p>“What’s so funny?” Tokiya asked, struggling to appear intimidating. Otoya released a small laugh as he shook his head. </p><p>“Nothing, nothing. You’re just really cute!” Otoya said. Rather than satiate any of his brewing anxieties, this just served to make his face heat up even more. He focused his attention elsewhere as he bit back the smile that dared to form on his lips. </p><p>“Shouldn’t we focus on the book?” Tokiya leaned down, digging the book from his bag and using the opportunity to soothe his pounding heart. He couldn’t keep getting this flustered at every little thing that Otoya said to him, but he just had a way about him that made you feel like you were special. </p><p>“You know, I was reading up on the book last night and I saw that it had a movie adaptation like five years ago. Wanna watch it?” Otoya asked as he dug out his phone from his pocket. He flipped it around to show Tokiya the screen, which depicted some well-known actor with their B-List co-star along with a few lesser-known celebrities in the back. It was definitely a product of the media’s obsession with book adaptations, albeit one of the poorer examples. </p><p>“Oh god, I remember watching that movie when it first came out. It was so bad that I had to walk out of the theater from how cringey it was.” Tokiya explained. </p><p>“All the more reason to watch it,” Otoya laughed. “Everyone loves bad movies. Especially the ones that know they’re bad.” </p><p>Tokiya shook his head as he went to open the book. </p><p>“Ren got me the bluray for my birthday, so we watched the movie about ten times. I could probably quote the entire thing from memory.” </p><p>“You should show me sometime.” </p><p>Tokiya looked up to meet Otoya’s cheeky gaze, a sly smirk on his lips. </p><p>“Only if you play guitar for me.” </p><p>Otoya stuck out his hand, and Tokiya quickly grasped it with a quick shake. </p><p>“Deal.” </p><p>From there, the rest of the hour was spent finally finishing the chapter, which went by much slower as Otoya had a comment to make about almost every scene. Tokiya didn’t mind it, however, as he too had many criticisms and critiques for the overall story. Although it was a favorite from his high school days, he could admit that the writing wasn’t the greatest now that he was more mature. It was honestly more entertaining to rag on the bad writing rather than take everything at face value. By the time they had finished the chapter, the Starbucks was practically bare, the surrounding lights becoming a dim yellow. Otoya looked down at his phone, sucking his teeth in annoyance. </p><p>“Everything okay?” Tokiya asked as he placed the bookmark in the designated spot.</p><p>“I forgot I have soccer practice today. We’ll have to start the next chapter some other time.” He said as he rose from the table. He placed his bag on his shoulder before picking up the guitar case from the ground.</p><p>“I’ll text you when I’m free tomorrow so we can start it,” Tokiya stated as he began to pack up his own things. He looked down at Otoya’s sea salt frappe, which was now a mass of melted whipped cream and what looked like vanilla ice cream. </p><p>“Do you want me to throw that out?” Otoya shook his head as he prepared to go. </p><p>“You can have it. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He waved his hand above his head, which Tokiya replicated as he lifted the drink off the table. Otoya had only drunk half of it and it wasn’t hot enough in the room that it melted completely. Not to mention, Tokiya was a bit curious as to what a sea salt frappuccino would taste like. The smart thing to do would be to grab a new straw and finish it off. That’s what he should’ve done. But of course, he didn’t. Without so much as a second thought, Tokiya brought the drink to his lips and took a small sip. It was salty, but sweet. There was a hint of mango from the straw itself, which served to make Tokiya realize just what he had done. His face was assaulted with heat as he hurriedly tossed the cup into the trash. Just how blinded by love could he become? It was almost nauseating how much it changed him, but part of him loved that fact. Otoya had managed to find a joy in him he’d thought he’d lost years ago. It was like being a child all over again, and Tokiya relished in the idea. Looks like he didn’t need those train tickets after all. </p><p>He looked down at his phone, taking note of the time as he prepared to head back to the dorm. </p><p>
  <i>Missed Call: 705-6732-808 (20 minutes ago)</i>
</p><p>As soon as he saw that string of numbers, Tokiya felt his heart sink in his chest. Of course, the one time he had found happiness, the one time he had managed to enjoy himself, <i>he</i> had to call and ruin it all. Maybe he could just ignore it? Pretend as if he hadn’t seen it and keep on with the rest of the day as normal as possible? There were better things he could be doing with his time and calling <i>him</i> just didn’t seem like one of them. Tokiya prepared to place his phone back in his pocket, content with taking some time for himself when the screen flashed as the number called him once more. He felt like throwing his phone across the room but settled for answering it with a deep sigh. </p><p>“Hi Dad.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fun fact: otoya's starbucks order comes from the time my local starbucks had sea salt frappuccinos because kingdom hearts 3 was released and it just so happens that a certain someone shares a seiyuu with riku</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Second Impact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey! so this chapter does get into some topics such as homophobia so if that makes anyone uncomfortable, i understand if you wanna skip over that part. hope you enjoy regardless!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Calls from his father were a rarity that Tokiya was not exactly fond of. They only happened every once in a while and were most likely his excuse to act as if he was a part of his son’s life. The last time Tokiya had seen his father in person was when he turned 13, the day when he’d finally gotten fed up with his perfect little family and decided to lead a different life. Since then, the only contact Tokiya got from the man was calls on birthdays or holidays and the occasional “check-in” call so that he felt as if he’d done something. The calls became less frequent the older Tokiya got, which served to only worsen their already poor relationship. </p>
<p>“Tokiya, how have you been?” His father asked. His voice always sounded so placid, showing no signs of emotional attachment or interest for that matter. Tokiya feigned a sense of content as he held the phone to his ear. </p>
<p>“I’ve been good. How are you?” He replied. </p>
<p>“I’ve been alright. How are your classes?” </p>
<p>“Fine. It’s a bit hard to juggle three classes back to back but I manage.” Their talks always followed this mundane pattern. The questions didn’t come from a place of genuine intrigue, but rather an obligation. His father knew that it was only polite to ask boring questions before he got to the actual purpose of the call. Tokiya knew this very well, which was why most of his answers were just as boring as the questions themselves. The less he spoke, the faster they could get through the call and end the nightmare for both of them. Finally, after a series of stock questions, which Tokiya replied to with either “Yes.” or “No,” the actual purpose of the call reared its ugly head. </p>
<p>“So, have you found any girls to keep you company?” The question formed a pit in Tokiya’s stomach, which he chose to ignore as he formulated an answer. It was a question his father often asked, and it almost always ended up ruining the call entirely. </p>
<p>“I’m not really looking for a relationship right now,” Tokiya explained. “I’ve been focused on my studies.” This answer was the easiest to say as it did not indicate Tokiya’s true sexuality while also following some semblance of truth. Relationships weren’t exactly a priority right now, especially ones with girls. Honestly, he hadn’t thought about relationships even in childhood. Schoolyard crushes were beyond him, although he’d received a few confessions over the years. He didn’t realize he was gay until he turned 15 and learned about the community after scouring the internet to understand why he didn’t see girls the same way his friends did. </p>
<p>“You know, it’s good that you’re dedicated to your studies, but you’ll have to settle down eventually. Marriage is an important part of becoming an adult.” Tokiya felt like gagging at that point. He was only 20 years old, marriage was supposed to be far in the future for him. But, of course, his father didn’t see it that way. </p>
<p>When it came to adulthood and maturity, Tokiya’s father had tunnel vision. The only things that mattered were getting a good-paying job, getting married, starting a family, retiring, and then eventually death. It was a pathetic cycle of life, but it was what he chose to do both for himself and his son. It was insane to look at life in such a linear way, but Tokiya had no intention of arguing with him about it. If there was one thing he did inherit from his father, it was his stubborn nature and his pension for arguments. </p>
<p>“I understand that marriage is important, but it’s hard to find someone in college. Most other people are busy with their studies or our personalities just don’t match up.” </p>
<p>Tokiya’s father released a low hum of disappointment. </p>
<p>“I’m sure it’s not all bad. You just haven’t found the right one just yet.”</p>
<p>“What if I don’t want to find the ‘right one’ just yet? What if I just wanna focus on school right now? Marriage and falling in love can come later.” </p>
<p>“You should find yourself a nice younger girl. The younger they are, the better they’ll listen. It’ll make for an easy marriage.” </p>
<p>Tokiya could feel his face heat up with anger as his voice began to grow in volume. </p>
<p>“You’re not even listening to me! What’s the point in calling me if you don’t really care?”</p>
<p>“Look, I’m worried about you. You’re in your third year of college and you have yet to find a girlfriend. I’m starting to get worried that you’re gay or something.” </p>
<p>Those were the words Tokiya never wanted to hear come out of his father’s mouth. The pit in his stomach grew bigger, destroying his appetite and preparing to release the contents of it onto the floor. He swallowed past the lump in his throat as his grip on the phone tightened. </p>
<p>“Look, I don’t feel like talking about this anymore. I have a test to study for and a paper to write.” Without so much as a goodbye, Tokiya hung up the phone before walking on ahead. He marched towards the dorm, uncaring for how angry or frustrated he looked. He knew everyone was staring at him; he could feel each set of eyes bore their way into his skin. He hated it. He hated being seen. If he could, he would disappear without another word, hide away so they wouldn’t have to see him so vulnerable. So pathetic. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t he just marry some nice, young girl and make his father shut up for a million years? Why couldn’t he just do as he was told from the very beginning and never have these awkward conversations? Why could he never be good enough for that man, no matter how much he did? He needed to leave. He needed to leave. He needed to leave, but no amount of train tickets to anywhere would fix the wretched feeling inside of him. He paused, registering the lack of open space before him. He was standing in front of his dorm room. He had made it back without even realizing it. </p>
<p>As soon as he unlocked the door, fatigue set in and made his body feel like lead. He dumped himself onto his bed with an exasperated huff, burying his face into his pillow. </p>
<p>“Is everything alright, Ichinose?” Tokiya’s eyes fluttered open as he turned to see Masato sitting across the room at his desk. The way his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pulled into such a tight frown were enough to tell Tokiya that it was time for Masato’s “maternal instincts” to kick in. He turned onto his back, grabbing his stuffed penguin from beside him and hugging it to his chest. </p>
<p>“Is it that obvious that I’m an emotional wreck?” He said with a dry laugh. Masato turned to face him entirely, face still painted with concern. </p>
<p>“I tried to talk to you when you walked in, but you just went to your bed and collapsed. I was worried it was a health-related issue.” He said. <br/>Tokiya shook his head, staring up at the ceiling as his mind continued to swim with overlapping thoughts. </p>
<p>“I’m fine. I’m just…” He trailed off, unable to find the proper words. Exhausted? Emotionally drained? Sick and tired of his homophobic piece of shit for a father? All of the above? </p>
<p>“Whatever the issue is,” Masato stated with a calm voice. “I want you to know that you can talk with me. I’m here for you.” </p>
<p>Tears formed in the corners of Tokiya’s eyes, although he was too tired to do anything about it. He let them fall, dripping slowly down his cheeks and landing beside him on his pillow. His heart felt heavy and pained as if there was a weight pushing down onto his chest, sinking deeper and deeper into his very core. He didn’t say a word, and he didn’t need to. Masato was by his side in a matter of seconds, holding onto him in an embrace so tight he felt secure for once. And for a while, they stayed like that. The only noise in the room came from the soft hum of Tokiya’s fan and the distant ringing of the refrigerator. It was the most at peace Tokiya had felt in a long time, and he longed to savor that moment forever. </p>
<p>After about ten minutes, most of Tokiya’s sobs had subsided. He released a few more shaky breaths, continuously reaching for the tissue box to wipe away his stray tears. Masato stayed beside him with a hand planted on his back, ensuring that he was completely stable. With a few more deep breaths, <br/>Tokiya felt comfortable enough to talk again, hugging the stuffed toy tighter to his chest. </p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?” He questioned in a voice barely above a whisper. Masato turned to face him, his eyes completely focused on what he was about to say. </p>
<p>“What did it take for you to finally feel good enough?” He quirked an eyebrow, still confused as to what Tokiya was getting at. Tokiya turned to face Masato, starting deep into his violet-colored eyes. </p>
<p>“I know that your father wasn’t exactly approving of your relationship with Ren, but it doesn’t seem like that bothers you anymore. I just wanted to know what it took for you to get to that point.” The softness that was conveyed on Masato’s face came almost immediately. He gently brushed Tokiya’s hair with his hand, staring at him with the sort of love that a mother would have for their child. </p>
<p>“Well, I can tell you that it didn’t happen overnight,” He began. “For a while, I felt lost. As the heir to the Hijirikawa Conglomerate, my entire life was built around the importance of my family name. Having that stripped away, I honestly felt empty for a long time. I began to wonder if this was truly the right decision, or if I should turn back and beg my father for forgiveness.” </p>
<p>Sadness glossed over his stare, though his smile remained. </p>
<p>“What changed?” Tokiya asked. </p>
<p>“Show me what you can really do,” Masato stated. “I’d said the same thing to Ren when I saw him giving up too easily. I knew he had potential deep down inside of him, he just needed to buckle down and use it. Turns out, I was the same way.” He stopped petting Tokiya’s head to place a hand against his cheek, brushing his thumb where the tears had spilled. </p>
<p>“It can be hard coming to terms with who you are, but, so long as you’re happy, that is all that matters. The importance of life is finding happiness and that means different things for different people.” </p>
<p>They stared at each for a while, communicating through their eyes rather than their mouths. Masato released Tokiya’s face, allowing him to straighten himself out as he laid back onto his bed. He retrieved his headphones from his pocket, hooking them up to his phone before clicking one of the many playlists he had arranged and allowing his body to relax. He could feel the tension dissipate from every muscle as the pulsating rhythm steadied his racing heart. His breathing followed suit until he could feel the music in every inch of his body, soothing and serene. He closed his eyes, focusing only on the sounds of the singers calming voice and let himself be carried off to sleep. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Morning came gently, with soft white lights slipping through the blinds and laying over Tokiya’s sleeping body. He was very lucky it was a Saturday as his body was still exhausted and his mind a blur. He slowly peeked open his eyes to find Masato already up and preparing for the morning, planning out his clothes for the day. That’s right, Tokiya also had a routine: morning jogs and stretches followed by a hot shower and freshly made smoothies. Considering his body felt like a sack of potatoes, the jog was completely off the agenda, although a shower might ease some of the joint pain. He rolled onto his side, grabbing his phone and plugging it up to the charger, allowing the screen to light up and reveal a new text. </p>
<p><i>Otoya (2 minutes ago)</i> <br/>i know its a weekend but i was wondering if you wanted to read another chapter today 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻</p>
<p>A smile crept onto Tokiya’s face as he looked down at the screen. His timing was perfect as always.</p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Otoya</i> <br/><i>Tokiya</i>: Sure! Do you wanna meet up in the morning or afternoon? <br/><i>Otoya</i>: lets do morning so that we can get breakfast together <br/><i>Tokiya</i>: Sounds like a plan. Does 10:30 work for you? <br/><i>Otoya</i>: ye<br/><i>Otoya</i>: lets meet at the dining hall <br/><i>Tokiya</i>: Ok. See you then! </p>
<p>“I see you’re finally awake,” Masato commented from across the room. Tokiya turned his head to find him standing in the doorway, already dressed and prepared to leave. </p>
<p>“You look better compared to yesterday,” Masato added. Tokiya gave him a small smile as he rolled out of his bed and headed into the closet. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I feel a lot better too.” He searched through his line of shirts and pants with a look of content on his face. Despite his previous grievances yesterday, he felt himself somehow relax at just the sheer thought of being with Otoya again. He had something to look forward to. Something that made him happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>just as a quick note: considering their ages in this AU i switched the roommates around so the pairs are now Otoya and Syo, Masato and Tokiya, and Ren and Natsuki!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Cafe au Lait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey all! i made some minor tweaks to previous chapters just for continuity's sake so if you wanna check that out you're welcome to. this chapter is gonna be a lot more fluffy compared to the last one, but still have some suspense at the end. hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the weeks progressed and time moved forward, their little reading meetings were one of the few things that kept Tokiya sane anymore. Otoya’s timing was always impeccable. His texts showed up right when Tokiya was feeling the aches and pains of life when he was teetering on giving up and was fed up with classes. Just seeing his phone screen light up with Otoya’s name staring back at him managed to remove any of his previous negative emotions and replace them with a warm fuzziness that surged throughout his entire body. No matter what the text was, whether it was Otoya asking to schedule another meeting or even just a random meme he wanted to show him, seeing those notifications were one of the few things that made life good. </p>
<p>Even today, as he sat at work silently hoping that the customers would browse more before walking to the counter, he was absorbed in his phone as Otoya prattled on about some silly story from his time at soccer practice. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Otoya</i><br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> so right at this point im 100% sure i have a concussion but im still playing in the game<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> the balls in play, our side’s got it, and syo tries to pass it to me but for some reason i mustve gotten turned around after i got hit<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> Oh god. Don’t tell me…<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> I RAN THE BALL ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER GOAL AND FUCKING SCORED<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> NOT JUST GOT IT TO THE GOAL<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> I SCORED<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> AND THAT WAS THE MOMENT EVERYONE REALIZED I WAS CONCUSSED </p>
<p>Tokiya stifled a giggle as he read through the texts, envisioning the confused faces of all of Otoya’s teammates watching as he ran the ball to the other side of the field. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya:</i> Well that was freshman year. Hopefully, most people don’t remember it…<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> syo has it recorded<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> Yikes.<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> there’s even an edit with the scooby doo running sound effect layered over it </p>
<p>Before he could even ask him, Otoya supplied the video, which was just as funny as it sounded. Tokiya saved it to his phone before returning to the text log once more. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya:</i> I think I just found my new favorite video.<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> i aim to entertain 🤡🤡🤡</p>
<p>“Excuse me, can I get rung up please?” Tokiya’s eyes darted from his phone as he finally registered the line of customers waiting in front of him. How long had they been standing there? Did they hear the embarrassing video? Should he go live in a ditch now or later? Probably later so that he didn’t inconvenience the customers any further. </p>
<p>“No need to look so panicked,” An older woman remarked as she walked to the counter. “Young love makes us all a little loopy at times.” Tokiya fluttered his eyes as he stared at the older woman, struggling to appear nonchalant. The woman gestured towards his phone with a kind smile. </p>
<p>“If you’re wondering how I can tell, it’s the way you smile at your phone. Joy like that always comes from a place of love. I wish the best of luck to you two.” As she grabbed her bag, she gave Tokiya a quick wink before she left, leaving him feeling all the more flustered and embarrassed. He’d have to tell Masato to find a new roommate since he was probably going to live in a ditch for the rest of his life. Once the line had settled down enough, Tokiya returned to his phone, noting the new texts from Otoya.</p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Otoya</i><br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> btw i dont have soccer practice tomorrow so we can finish out the book (*≧ω≦*)<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> i was thinking since its the last chapter we could do something special to celebrate<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> there’s this book cafe near campus that natsuki told me about. it has great tea and cookies and they make everything fresh<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> we could meet up after classes are done and then head over<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> only if you want to tho 🙈 </p>
<p>As soon as he saw the series of messages, his entire brain short-circuited. This was it. This was the day he was going to die. Admittedly, he did take notice of how little pages they had left in the book, but his mind had managed to put off the matter by pretending as if there was still time. Of course, there was the occasional thought of what was to come after the book was done, which led Tokiya to spiral into a series of various ‘what ifs’ that always left him completely flustered. But to think that this was what the universe decided? This was what fate had chosen for him? He was going to die. Either that or this was all a simulation and he was going to wake up eventually. Because there was no way on God’s green earth that he was going to be going on a date with Otoya. It was unreal. It was unimaginable. It was everything that Tokiya had dreamed of but still scared him shitless nonetheless.<br/>
He looked down at the clock and noted how long he had left Otoya waiting, causing his panic to worsen. Hurriedly, he opened his messages and texted the only people who he could trust with this information. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Ren and Them 👑</i><br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> I NEED HELP!!!!!<br/>
<i>Syo:</i> Are you being murdered????<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> MAYBE<br/>
<i>Ren:</i> omg ichi stop being dramatic and tell us whats wrong<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> OTOYA ASKED ME ON A DATE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT DO<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> AAAAAAAAAAああああああああああああ<br/>
<i>Syo:</i> asflsafjewjfej<br/>
<i>Syo:</i> BITCH!!!!!!<br/>
<i>Ren:</i> baby ichi is growing up on us🤧<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> WHAT DO I DO?????<br/>
<i>Syo:</i> SAY YES YOU DUMB SLUT </p>
<p>Tokiya switched back over to the original text log with Otoya, his heart now drumming in his ears and his face burning bright red. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Otoya</i><br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> Sorry for the late reply. A book cafe sounds very nice!<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> Is three a good time to meet up?<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> omg wait you actually said yes<br/>
<i>Otoya:</i> 3 works for me! i’ll see you thenヽ(&gt;∀&lt;☆)ノ </p>
<p>Tokiya could barely believe his eyes as he stared back at the phone. He felt like crying and cheering at the same time but settled on vibrating as pure happiness rushed through his body. He opened up the group chat with Ren and Syo, his fingers practically quaking as he touched the keys. </p>
<p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; Ren and Them 👑</i><br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> THE DEED IS DONE<br/>
<i>Syo:</i> AAAAAAAAA<br/>
<i>Ren:</i> CONGRATS BITCHHHHHH<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> MY HANDS ARE SHAKING<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> AM I TOO EXCITED???<br/>
<i>Tokiya:</i> WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WEAR???</p>
<p>_</p>
<p>“Why do you own so many button-downs?” Syo asked as he thumbed through Tokiya’s closet. Tokiya crossed his arms as he leaned against his bed. </p>
<p>“I like breathable fabrics.” He said. One of the downsides to being friends with Ren and Syo was that they always found a way to make Tokiya their personal dress-up doll. Of course, all the boys had a personal affinity for fashion, but Tokiya more often appreciated the art rather than partook in it. He was conscious of the new trends, but actually abiding by them was more Ren and Syo’s forte. Which was why they always appreciated little moments such as these where they could act like Tokiya’s personal fairy grandmothers.</p>
<p>“I think button-downs suit you well, Ichinose,” Masato noted from his seat in Ren’s lap. Despite his usual early bedtime, Masato seemed to have no opposition to Ren and Syo’s plans for the evening, especially if it meant he could spend more time with his boyfriend. </p>
<p>“What happened to all the crop tops I got you?” Ren asked with a pout. </p>
<p>Tokiya cut his eyes at the older boy.</p>
<p>“I’m not wearing a crop top to a book cafe!” </p>
<p>“Why not? I’m sure Ikki would like it.” Ren said with a playful wink. Masato elbowed him in his side as he readjusted his position. </p>
<p>“Don’t listen to him; wear what makes you feel comfortable.” </p>
<p>As if on cue, Syo proceeded to throw out the accursed crop tops, which were strategically hidden in the back of the closet. Tokiya physically winced as the pile accumulated even more items. He’d have to clean this all up later and order everything back to their original spots. </p>
<p>“Now Ren, you know damn well Tokiya wouldn’t be caught dead in a crop top, especially ones like these.” Syo held up one of Tokiya’s least favorite shirts, a fishnet crop top where the only form of covering was the sensor bar over the nipples. It wasn’t so bad that Tokiya was going to give it away, it would just take a lot of convincing for him to wear it anywhere in public. </p>
<p>“Stranger things have happened,” Ren said with a small shrug. Syo rolled his eyes as he returned to the closet, tossing out any clothes that didn’t spark his interest until he finally landed his eyes on something of value. </p>
<p>“I forgot you bought this!” Syo noted. It was a white windbreaker with blue and teal accents that he’d gotten while thrifting last semester. The jacket had a very vintage feel to it that suited Tokiya’s general aesthetic while also staying in line with current fashion trends. </p>
<p>“Well, would you look at that? Ichi can have good taste.” Ren joked.</p>
<p>“Now if we just pair this with a nice shirt, some jeans, and some sneakers we could be onto something.” Almost instantaneously, Syo managed to drug up a nice white shirt along with a pair of blue jeans. “If you pair this with some Converse or Vans, we just might be able to pull this off.” </p>
<p><i>BZZT-BZZT!</i> Tokiya’s phone buzzed for the umpteenth time from its place on his bed, the screen lighting up with yet another notification. Masato darted his eyes over to the device as he noted the frown on Tokiya’s lips. </p>
<p>“Is everything alright?” He asked. Tokiya looked down at the screen before releasing a long sigh. </p>
<p>“Nothing, it’s just that my dad’s been trying to set me up with his friend’s daughter. He’s sending me pictures of her now.” Tokiya had no intention of opening the messages, but there were already twenty of them spanning over the last few days. Since their previous argument, his father had taken a break from contact before coming back to bombard him with messages. They started tame and seemingly innocent but quickly spiraled into the constant talk of finding Tokiya a wife. He had considered blocking the number entirely but knew that it would only serve to anger his father even more. </p>
<p>“It’s honestly sad at this point. It’s obvious you’re not comfortable with the idea, so why even continue bringing it up?” Ren said.</p>
<p>Tokiya offered a defeated shrug. </p>
<p>“Spite? Denial? A little bit of both?” </p>
<p>“Either way, he needs to respect your boundaries. He can’t just keep pushing these things on you. Eventually, you’ll have to stand up to him.” Syo added. </p>
<p>The longer Tokiya stared at the screen, the more disgusted he felt. Even now, with such a joyous and exciting occasion on the way, he couldn’t fully indulge himself because of the baggage he carried with him. This was probably the world’s way of saying “quit while you’re ahead.” No matter how much he wanted to ignore his past, it would always come back to haunt him, ghosting every aspect of his life. He would never truly be free until he finally broke away.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Tokiya looked up and stared into violet eyes, noting the soft hand on his shoulder. “Now’s not the time to worry about that man. You should focus on what makes you happy.” Masato gave him a sweet smile as he spoke, which Tokiya couldn’t help but imitate. </p>
<p>“Let’s try on the outfit to see it all together and then Ren can start fixing your hair,” Syo explained. Tokiya nodded in agreement, grabbing the outfit before heading off into the closet to change while the others talked amongst themselves. The night carried on with a sort of whimsicality and fun that reminded Tokiya of a twelve-year-old girl’s first sleepover. It was a simple, boisterous kind of fun that left everyone feeling warm and fuzzy even as they drifted off to sleep that night. It took a while for exhaustion to finally set in for Tokiya as he laid in bed, but when it did hit, only one wish remained on his lips. </p>
<p>“Let things go right.” </p>
<p>_</p>
<p>Classes flew by in a blur, at least in Tokiya’s mind, as the only thing that he could pay attention to the entire day was his upcoming date. He was practically on autopilot for most of the day and jumped at any form of contact that brought him out of his feverish thoughts. The number of confused stares he got didn’t help to satiate any of this either. He received multiple texts from all of his friends, including Natsuki, who unsurprisingly was briefed on the whole situation from his roommate Ren. They were meant to invoke courage in Tokiya but only seemed to worsen the raging fear that rocked his stomach. </p>
<p>“Don’t fuck up. Don’t fuck up. Don’t fuck up.” Was the mantra playing in his head on a loop. He had already accounted for every possible mishap in the book. The weather had been checked periodically since the morning, ensuring that no pop-up showers would rain on their parade. The book was safely tucked into his bag from the moment he saw it on his dresser. He had coated himself in one of Ren’s rich colognes, enough to make the scent known but not become overwhelming. He’d also nearly cleared out his pack of mints from the number of times he ate one to ensure his breath stayed fresh. Did he nearly get yelled at for checking the weather in the middle of a presentation? Yeah. Was he on edge from making sure nothing happened to his bag or the book? Of course. Had he numbed half of his taste buds from the amount of mint he’d consumed? Probably. But those were all the sacrifices he was willing to make for love. The sacrifices he was willing to make for Otoya.<br/>
Speaking of the dear boy, where could he possibly be? They had agreed on a three o’clock meeting time and Tokiya had made sure to arrive at least five minutes before the deadline this time to appear just a bit cooler. However, it was now 3:05 and he was nowhere to be seen. Tokiya looked down at his phone to see if there was any communication about the possibility of Otoya being late. </p>
<p><i>New Message (5 minutes ago)</i><br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808:</i> Haruka said she’d be willing to talk to you over coffee. Her father thinks you’d been a good fit for her since you both enjoy music. Please respond if you’re interested. </p>
<p>Not exactly the thing he was looking for. Seeing the massage just served to make him feel all the more fearful. Maybe Otoya had forgotten about the date? Or this could just be one huge prank where the punchline is that Tokiya will have to end up going out with some girl he didn’t feel attracted to? Was now an appropriate time to pick out train tickets again? Or he could just lock himself in his room and never see daylight? Both options were equally appealing. </p>
<p>“Tokiya!” Rather than further urge himself down his own fear-induced rabbit hole, Tokiya distracted himself with the sound of that familiar sing-songy voice. He hadn’t forgotten him, the date was still on. A sigh of relief left his lips as Otoya skidded to a halt before him, lightly panting as he held his knees. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry I was late! The professor held over class cause he got in an argument with a student and then he wanted it to be a class discussion, but my phone was updating so I couldn’t text you and I ended up just running out while they were going back and forth and--” </p>
<p>“It’s alright,” Tokiya stated, cutting Otoya’s word salad short. “I’m not mad or anything. I’m just glad you’re here now.” He offered a warm smile that Otoya quickly reciprocated, seemingly rejuvenated from the gesture alone. </p>
<p>“Well then, let’s not waste any time. Let’s get going.” Otoya led the way as they exited off of campus. The sun was at its peak in the cerulean skies, coloring the world in warm shades of gold and yellow that suited to liven the boring hues of the ever-bustling city. Considering it was getting towards the end of the day, people were still moving about, whether leaving work or going shopping. Everyone seemed to be on the move, never stopping for one second. There was a certain romanticism to it that Tokiya had grown to love since he moved here at 13. As for Otoya, a Tokyo native, he seemed to fit right in. </p>
<p>“It’s a good thing we didn’t head out during the rush hour. The foot traffic would’ve been even worse then.” He noted while throwing his hands behind his head. </p>
<p>Tokiya hadn’t had the opportunity to appreciate Otoya’s outfit since they’d left, but quickly took note of the fit: dark, baggy jeans, chunky sneakers, and, the star of the outfit, a black button-down decorated with red flames at the bottom. He even wore earrings, one stud and the other a black cross dangling down to his shoulder. His slightly alternative sense of style completely contradicted his happy-go-lucky disposition, which seemed to entice Tokiya even more. </p>
<p>“I was gonna offer to grab my bike so that we could ride over there, but I thought the walk would be more entertaining, y’know?” Otoya added.</p>
<p>Tokiya nodded, having to pull himself away from staring at Otoya’s face for too long. His lips were glossy with that mango chapstick again, and he wondered if he would ever get the opportunity to properly taste it. </p>
<p>“Well, maybe we can ride it next time we visit,” Tokiya said. Otoya smiled, pleased at the idea that next time was already in place. </p>
<p>“Sure! I wanna ride you around one of these days!” They continued for a few more blocks before finally stopping at a hole-in-the-wall shop down one of the alleys. The store was sandwiched amongst the random fashion boutiques and appliance stores that decorated the street, which made it seem even more like a hidden gem. Star-shaped string lights hung from the display window, which featured the store’s book of the month. Otoya eagerly opened the door, allowing for Tokiya to enter inside and become entranced within a whole new world. </p>
<p>Soft lighting gave off a sense of homeliness that added to the warm scent of peppermint and sugar that perfumed the air. In one half of the store were the bookshelves, separated by genre with colorful signs and illustrations. The other half of the store was the sitting area, which was equipped with round tables and stools, a large rug, and a few couches that were littered with pillows. In the back was where the cafe was stationed, already packed with both patrons and employees. A large chalkboard was bolted to the wall, which featured the menu along with the specialty tea for the day. With each discovery, Tokiya’s heart pounded even more.</p>
<p>“So, what do you think?” Otoya asked from behind him. Tokiya turned to face him, a bright smile coloring his face. </p>
<p>“It’s perfect.” He beamed. Otoya smiled back as he grabbed hold of Tokiya’s hand. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you like it!” </p>
<p>Tokiya could feel his heart skip a beat from the sudden addition of contact. Unsurprisingly, Otoya’s hands were warm, not so much that they were sweaty, but not too little that they were bordering on freezing like Tokiya’s. They were the “just right” kind of warm that left you feeling warm everywhere. Tokiya squeezed the younger boy’s hand as they headed into line to order their drinks. Tokiya opted for a relaxing honey lavender tea, while Otoya chose an iced lemonade. He almost felt like chuckling at how innocent Otoya’s choice in drink was, but he couldn’t deny it was part of his charm. Upon receiving the drinks, Otoya insisted on taking pictures of them for his Instagram and they had to spend five minutes picking a proper pose before they could finally enjoy the beverages themselves. Tokiya blew onto his cup before taking a tentative sip from the hot drink. </p>
<p>“I really wasn’t expecting anything like this existing near campus.” He noted. Otoya hurriedly nodded in agreement as he sipped on his lemonade. </p>
<p>“I’m so used to going to live houses or random parties, so stuff like this can be really refreshing,” He added. “Besides, I thought this would be a lot more your pace since you love reading.” </p>
<p>Tokiya could feel his face heat up a little bit. </p>
<p>“Thank you for thinking of me.” The words slipped out almost too naturally, but he didn’t bite his tongue after he said it.</p>
<p>Otoya’s cheeks seemed to take on a similar rosy hue. </p>
<p>“N-No problem. I thought it was the least I could do.” He explained with a sheepish gaze. Tokiya could hardly believe his eyes at the sight before him. The tables had somehow turned and now Otoya was the one getting flustered. A pure sense of joy surged in his chest, causing his smile to widen. </p>
<p>“You know, you’re really cute when you’re flustered.” Tokiya had no clue where this confidence was coming from but chose to focus more on keeping up the momentum. Otoya cut his eyes away, the reddening of his cheeks beginning to rival the color of his hair.</p>
<p>“Sh-Shouldn’t we focus on the book?” He stammered. Tokiya released a soft giggle as he retrieved the book from his bag. There were only around twenty pages left in the last chapter, which meant that they had more time to do what they wanted once it was finished. </p>
<p>“I almost feel kind of sad thinking that we’re done with the book. It’s the thing that brought us together.” Tokiya stated with a look of nostalgia in his eyes. He fondly grazed his thumb over the cover, thinking of how far they’d come compared to their first meeting. Otoya placed his hand on top of Tokiya’s with a warm smile.</p>
<p>“Well, even if the book’s done there’s still a lot we haven’t done together, like watch the movie or play guitar together. And there’s still a ton of stuff I wanna do with you even after that!” He said. </p>
<p>The two smiled at each other for a bit before returning to the book once more, finally opening the pages and beginning their descent into the last chapter. Similar to their previous meetings, Otoya was sitting beside Tokiya, reading over his shoulder as best as he could. However, what made all the difference this time around was the sudden added weight Tokiya felt. Otoya cradled his head into the crook of Tokiya’s neck, his soft hair tickling at his skin from how close the two were. And Tokiya didn’t shout. He didn’t scream nor did he plot on any train tickets. Instead, he nuzzled his head against Otoya and continued to read with unadulterated bliss. There were no racing thoughts or moments of regret. There was only the feeling of being near someone you loved. It took all of Tokiya’s power to stop himself from saying “I love you” right then and there.</p>
<p><i>BZZT-BZZT!</i><br/>
<i>New Message (Now)</i><br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808:</i> I know you’re seeing this text. Haruka is waiting on a response and I need a definite answer soon.<br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808:</i> Answer me or else I’ll decide for you. </p>
<p>Tokiya looked down at his phone, taking note of the new notification flashing from the screen. His father was reaching his limit and lord knows what was to come from it.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Otoya asked. Tokiya turned to face him, feigning peace as he flipped the screen over. </p>
<p>“Nothing.” He said hurriedly. They returned to the book without much fuss, trying to salvage the previous peace they felt. However, no matter how much Tokiya longed to ignore it, the sickening feeling of something bad was looming over his head.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes i made otoya dress like an eboy. no i dont care if the shirt i described sounds like the guy fieri shirt. its ok these things happen</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Third Impact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the delay! school is around the corner so ive had a lot on my plate but i finally managed to finish this chapter! more discussion of homophobia and a lot more angst this time around, but with a very happy ending. chapter 7 will be out soon (hopefully) hope y'all enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You can’t be serious,” Tokiya said. The frown on his face was verging on disgust. Otoya pursed his lips, struggling to contain his emotions. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He stated. </p><p>Judging by the look in Otoya’s eyes, Tokiya could tell he was telling the truth. He shook his head in disbelief. There was no way this could be real. </p><p>“Some crimes just can’t be forgiven,” He muttered. “How can you not like green peppers?!” </p><p>It was by that point that Otoya could not contain himself any longer. His typical giddy smile was on his lips in a matter of seconds as he stifled his giggles. Although the number of customers at the cafe was sparse, he still didn’t want to interrupt their afternoon with his rambunctious laughter. Even Tokiya fought the urge to bust out in full-blown guffawing, covering his mouth as he turned away to face the wall. </p><p>Visiting Green Summit Cafe was a sudden addition to their itinerary on their way back as Otoya had complained that the lemonade alone wasn’t filling and that he was craving something savory. Conveniently, he happened to be friends with the owner of the cafe, Kotobuki Reiji, who was willing to let them eat at their leisure with an added discount.</p><p>“Look, I don’t see what the big deal is! They’re nasty!” Otoya whined.</p><p>“How are they nasty?” Tokiya asked. </p><p>“It tastes like bitter medicine! Who the hell would eat them by choice?!” </p><p>“How old are you, five?” </p><p>“Look, five-years-old might be onto something when they complain about green peppers. They taste like ass and I refuse to believe anyone actually enjoys them.” </p><p>Tokiya released a chuckle as he returned to his plate, stirring the contents of his salad bowl which happened to have the aforementioned vegetable. He lifted his fork with the vegetables packed on and gestured it towards Otoya’s face with an amused smirk. </p><p>“Just try one piece. I wanna see how you react.” </p><p>Otoya’s face retracted into his neck as he shook his head. </p><p>“Stop, I’ll cry!” </p><p>Tokiya released another short laugh as he continued to push the fork towards Otoya’s face. </p><p>“Just one bite! You might change your mind.” </p><p>Otoya feverishly shook his head. </p><p>“They’re nasty and vile; I refuse!” </p><p><i>BZZT-BZZT!</i> </p><p>Tokiya looked down as his phone screen lit up. Another missed call notification alerted him of his father’s rising anger, accompanied by a new voicemail. Tokiya placed the fork down as he continued to stare at the screen, his stomach churning as he noted how high the number had gotten over the past few hours. The texts were just as exasperated, transitioning from slightly panicked messages to frantic short phrases in all caps. </p><p><i>Tokiya &gt;&gt;&gt; (705) 6732-808</i><br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808</i>: ANSWER THE PHONE<br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808</i>: I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THESE MESSAGES<br/>
<i>(705) 6732-808</i>: CALL ME BACK </p><p>“You okay?” Tokiya cut his eyes up to find Otoya staring back at him, the concern evident in his stare. He forced a fake smile as he flipped the phone over. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s just my group chat,” He lied. Otoya hummed in response as he returned to his forgotten sandwich. They silently picked at their meals, allowing the silence to fester like a thick cloud above them. It caused the salad to become flavorless in Tokiya’s mouth, but he continued to eat each forkful nonetheless. </p><p>“So, what did you think of the end of the book?” Tokiya asked after a while. “I remember freaking out when I first read it in middle school, so I’m curious to hear your thoughts about it.” </p><p>Otoya covered his mouth to finish his bite. </p><p>“It was really cool,” He began. “Like I kind of figured that they were gonna escape and adventure into space but I really liked the twist of having Kousuke’s dad trying to turn them in and being one of the bad guys. I wished we got to see more of Kousuke and Noa being together and hanging out, but the ending was still pretty good.” </p><p>Tokiya’s eyes lit up as he leaned closer in his seat. </p><p>“I feel the exact same way! I was hoping that Kousuke and Noa would actually get together in the end, especially with how intimate they got in the last few chapters. I mean, Kousuke was literally seconds away from confessing but then they got interrupted by his father. And then, they included that stupid subplot of having Miki have a crush on Noa even though she was only relevant in the first half of the book and didn’t really interact with him. It all just seemed like wasted potential.” </p><p>Otoya watched with a fond smile as Tokiya continued to rave over the book. In fact, he was so caught up in his ramblings that he didn’t even notice the way Otoya looked at him with so much love in his eyes. Loving the smile that sat on Tokiya’s face and enjoying the joyful twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. It wasn’t until Tokiya noticed that he was the only one speaking that he realized just how happy Otoya seemed. </p><p>“Sorry, I must’ve gone on a tangent.”  He said sheepishly. Otoya shook his head with the same goofy grin on his face. </p><p>“It’s okay. I like hearing you talk!” He stated. “You’re really cute when you get excited.”</p><p>Before Tokiya could even respond to the comment, he took note of the man walking towards the table with an excited smile on his face. The glint in his eyes was mischievous as he planted his hands onto Otoya’s shoulder, causing a squeak to leave the boy’s mouth.</p><p>“There’s my happy couple.” The man said with a laugh. </p><p>Otoya turned around with a prominent frown.</p><p>“Rei-chan! You scared me!” He whined. </p><p>The man giggled as he leaned down next to Otoya. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to get your attention! How could I ignore my adorable kouhai when he decides to visit?” He said. Each of his mannerisms reminded Tokiya of a high school girl despite him being way past the age for those things to be acceptable. He fought off his laughter as he watched the man pinch Otoya’s pouting cheeks as one would do to a child. Otoya swatted the hands away as he turned to face Tokiya with the same pout. </p><p>“Either way, let me introduce you two. Tokiya, this is Kotobuki Reiji. Reiji, this is Ichinose Tokiya.” </p><p>Tokiya offered Reiji a polite bow of his head as he met eyes with the man. </p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” </p><p>It was now Reiji’s turn to pout profusely, as he crossed his arms in front of his chest with an exaggerated huff. </p><p>“Don’t call me sir! That makes me feel way older than I am! Just call me Rei-chan, or Onii-chan if you like.” He winked at the last part and Tokiya could almost imagine a little star shooting from his eye like he was some anime character. </p><p>“Sorry about that, Kotobuki-san. I didn’t want to offend you.” Tokiya explained. </p><p>Reiji rubbed at his neck with a small sigh. </p><p>“I suppose it’s better than sir,” He muttered. “If anything, I should be nervous! You’re the sweet boy who’s stolen my little Otoyan’s heart.” He grabbed onto Otoya’s shoulders and gave them another playful jostle, while Otoya’s face turned from tan to bright red. Tokiya let a sly grin slip onto his face. </p><p>“Really? Is that true, Otoyan?” He asked with a devilish gleam in his eyes. </p><p>Reiji nodded his head before he could even answer for himself. </p><p>“Ever since he met you in the library, Otoyan’s been coming in here every day just gushing about you. Always talking about how you’re so cool and handsome, and how you have a cute side when you get flustered, and-” </p><p>Otoya quickly slapped his hands over Reiji’s mouth as his face burned with embarrassment. </p><p>“I-I-I think he’s heard enough!” He exclaimed. Tokiya laughed as he watched the two bicker, unable to restrain the soft little chuckles that fell from his lips. It was always fun to make fun of others’ embarrassment while avoiding thinking about your own. </p><p>“I’m glad you think so highly of me, Otoyan.” </p><p><i>BANG!</i> Tokiya shot through his heart with no hesitation. Otoya doubled over as he continued to hide his face, the red color spreading to his ears and some of his neck. Reiji patted him on the back before waving goodbye and taking his leave.</p><p>“Take good care of him, Tokki!” He called as he drifted back into the kitchen. Tokiya waved back before returning to check on Otoya, placing a gentle hand into his hair and playing with the strands. </p><p>“Was that too far?” Tokiya questioned as he stroked his hair. Otoya shook his head before planting onto his arms with another pout. His cheeks were so puffy that they reminded Tokiya of mochi. He fought the urge to squeeze them less he went back to hiding himself. </p><p>“It’s only natural that I get like this when you stay stuff like that.” </p><p>The soft look in Otoya’s eyes paired with his mochi-like cheeks was enough to melt Tokiya’s heart instantly, leaving him vulnerable. He searched his head for a witty comeback but was silenced as Otoya took his hand from his head and placed it against his cheek.</p><p>“Spoil me more.” He whispered with a needy gaze.<br/>
<i>BANG!</i> A retaliation shot clean through the chest and out the back. Tokiya’s face lit up cherry red and he struggled to hide behind his free hand. Otoya smiled at his handiwork as he toyed with Tokiya’s fingers. </p><p>“Now we’re even.” He remarked. The confidence on his face was dangerously close to being smug and Tokiya was more than prepared to wipe off that cheeky grin of his. He was lucky he listened to Ren when he would flirt with Masato. He had a few things in his arsenal that he couldn’t wait to try and knew that if he dispensed it at the right time, he could inflict maximum damage. He opened his mouth, ready to release his attack, but all that came out was the dull vibrating of his phone on the table. </p><p><i>BZZT-BZZT! BZZT-BZZT! BZZT-BZZT!</i> </p><p>The two boys looked at the device before staring at each other once more. Their little game would have to be on hold for the moment. </p><p>“You’re lucky someone’s calling me.” He said as he grabbed the phone and rose from the table. Otoya playfully waved goodbye as Tokiya exited into the bathroom, heading into a stall so that he could look at the caller ID. </p><p>In his rose-colored dazed, he must’ve forgotten about his father’s existence for a moment as he was pleasantly surprised to even more missed calls and panicked texts from the man. His entire notifications screen was flooded with them, making his skin crawl from the sheer number alone. Before he could even read what any of the texts had to say, another call lit up the screen and practically begged to be answered. Tokiya watched the number staring back at him, that same nauseous fear settling back into his stomach. Otoya was waiting out there for him. They were having fun, enjoying themselves. Not just as friends, but maybe as something more. He wanted to be with Otoya. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be free. And the only way to do that was to answer this call and face reality. He swallowed hard before finally picking up the phone and tentatively placing it next to his ear. His heart pounded in his ears so loud that he could barely hear what was happening on the other end of the line. </p><p>“Hello?” He asked after a few deep breaths. The response was immediate. </p><p>“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to reach out to you?!” His father cried. Tokiya winced at how loud he sounded, pulling the phone away as he felt his ears ring. </p><p>“Look, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.” He explained. </p><p>“Thiry times! I’ve called you thirty times this entire day and you haven’t picked up once.” </p><p>“Like I said, I was busy and-” </p><p>“I don’t have time for your excuses!” His tone of voice was unlike any Tokiya had heard before. It wasn’t stern, nor was it authoritative. It was pure fury teetering on disgust. </p><p>“Do you know how much I’ve sacrificed to raise you? How much time and effort I’ve put in to be there for you? I didn’t have to come back into your life but I do all I can to be there for you!” </p><p>The longer he listened to him speak, the more Tokiya could feel his own frustrations building. Like lightning striking the ground, he could feel himself snap. </p><p>“Nobody asked you to come back!” He barked. “You shouldn’t have to be rewarded to do your job!”</p><p>“I’m trying to help you out! How hard is it for you to understand that?!” </p><p>“I never asked for your help! I never asked for anything from you! You just keep pretending as if you’re a part of my life when you never have been! You barely raised me!” Tokiya’s father took in a deep breath, his exasperation becoming apparent over the phone. </p><p>“Look, I’m trying, alright? You’re young and you don’t know any better, so I want to help you find the right path. That’s why I’ve been harping on you finding a girlfriend and getting married. I want you to lead a comfortable life.” </p><p>The tension that was building throughout Tokiya’s body felt like needles in each of his limbs. His body was shaking, more like trembling, as he held the phone to his ears and prepared to open his mouth once more. It took all of his strength not to let his voice quiver as he spoke. </p><p>“Dad,” He began. “I’m gay.” </p><p>Of all the times Tokiya had rehearsed this talk in his head, nothing would prepare him for the actual experience. His father scoffed at the idea. </p><p>“That’s ridiculous,” He stated. “My son isn’t gay.” </p><p>Tokiya tightened his grip against the phone as he felt bile rise in his throat. </p><p>“I guess you don’t have a son.” </p><p>30 seconds. His father was silent for 30 seconds before hanging up entirely, leaving Tokiya to release his feelings into the toilet behind him. He gagged for a bit after that, still disgusted by the smell that wafted from the toilet bowl. His mind felt like it was swimming, a flood of water filling his ears and blocking out any sound. His body felt limp, each limb so light that it felt as if it was being moved by puppet strings. He watched his body pick itself off the ground before marching out of the bathroom at a sluggish pace that caused a few people to stare. Otoya stood upon seeing the body return, but his face immediately fell once he noticed how distraught Tokiya’s face was. He called out to him, probably using his name, but all Tokiya could hear was the pulsating sounds of his heartbeat drowned in the water. </p><p>In the blink of an eye, he was on the busy sidewalks of Tokyo walking to god knows where. The people barely took notice of him, hurriedly rushing past in the same busybodied manner that they always did. He felt like a fish out of water, ripped from his home by the incoming tide, and left to drown somewhere unfamiliar. At times, his vision would fail him and he found himself farther and farther from where his original destination was. Above all of the voices, Otoya was still the loudest as he screamed for his attention. It entered Tokiya’s ears as garbled mush, but he could still hear the panic in his tone. At times, the voice seemed distant, but it would always come back to him as Otoya fought to keep up. It was admirable how much he struggled, but futile nonetheless. </p><p>In his daze, Tokiya hadn’t noticed the red light changing to green as he took a step into the street. He could hear the sound of a car horn screeching into his ears, reminding him of reality for a brief moment. The bright lights that shined in his eyes were replaced by darkness as he felt his body curled into the fabric of someone’s shirt. He could feel tears start to fall onto his head, the sensation of it mitigating some of the numbness he felt. He looked up to find Otoya holding onto him, his eyes now teary and wet as he gently stroked Tokiya’s hair. </p><p>“Oh thank god.” He muttered to himself over and over again. Tokiya curled his fingers into the shirt, taking in the scent of Otoya’s cologne one last time. </p><p>He had failed his father and he would only serve to fail Otoya as well. He’d never be good enough. He never was good enough, to begin with. This was the end of their story, as far as he was concerned. And there was no hope to fix it.</p><p> </p><p>Although his memories were muddied, Tokiya vaguely remembered getting into a taxi. He could recall being carried into a room and crashing onto a bed, but his last memory was the sound of singing. Soft, loving singing that reminded him of the records he used to listen to growing up. The kind of voice that wasn’t trained or overly skilled. It was the voice you’d hear after a long day of work when you’d walk into the kitchen. The kind that paired well with the radio and would hum the parts of the songs they couldn’t remember. The kind that would sing you to sleep if you needed it and always stood out when it was time to sing happy birthday. It was beautiful and Tokiya was pleasantly surprised to wake up and hear it once more, now with the subtle strumming of a guitar. The tension in his body slowly left each muscle, allowing him to feel the softness of the blanket under him. Even the pounding in his head was replaced by the calming sounds of that voice. He opened his eyes, taking in the differences in the room before coming to the conclusion that it was not his. </p><p>There were movie and anime posters hung up on the walls with string lights hanging around them. A desk near the front showed a sign which read “Apple, apple!” in big white letters along with multiple drawings of a music note character taped around it. A single skateboard sat in the closet, the bottom design faded and darkening from constant use. The other side of the room was decked out with similar decoration, except it followed a pink motif rather than the red coloring that this side had. Considering no one was at either desk, he sat up to see if anyone truly was here and found Otoya sitting beside him strumming his guitar. 

His eyes looked downcast as he played and it physically hurt Tokiya to see how distraught he appeared. The tears had subsided, though the evidence was still on his face: puffy red eyes, dried tear marks, ruddy cheeks. Even his voice had a coarse edge to it that proved how long he had been crying.</p><p>“Hey.” Tokiya said instinctively. Otoya looked up in shock, which quickly melted into joy. </p><p>“You’re awake,” He said and rushed over to him. He wrapped his arms around Tokiya, holding him close to his body until they could feel each other's heartbeats. Tokiya sat limp in his grasp for a bit before finally reciprocating, enjoying the feeling of having human contact. </p><p>“I was so worried,” Otoya whispered. “When I saw you leave I knew something happened so I tried to call out to you, but you didn’t turn around. At first, I thought you couldn’t hear me so I kept yelling and yelling but…” His voice trailed off into a sob, more tears beginning to wet his cheeks. Tokiya sat back to cup the boy’s face, gently brushing each tear away. His own eyes began to wet, a large lump starting to shape in his throat. </p><p>“I’m sorry for making you worry,” Tokiya explained. “I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.” The trembling was building in his hands once more as he released a shaky breath. </p><p>“It seems like all I do anymore is mess things up.” He stated with a bitter smile. Otoya grabbed onto his quaking hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. There was hardened determination in his eyes that Tokiya had never seen before, but made him feel safer all the same. </p><p>“You didn’t mess anything up.” He stated. “I just wanna make sure that you’re okay.” </p><p>The longer they met eyes, the worse Tokiya’s chest ached. This boy was looking at him with all the love in the world and what did he have to show for it? Scaring him away by being selfish? Constantly doubting his love for him due to his own paranoia? He didn’t deserve someone as kind as Otoya. Hell, he didn’t even deserve whatever girl his dad had picked out. Ichinose Tokiya was never meant for love. Loneliness would be his best friend for the rest of his life and right now he was okay with that. He didn’t just disgust his father, he disgusted himself. He disgusted everyone! He was a disgrace that--</p><p>“Tokiya.” The jumbled thoughts came to a halt. He could hear the sound of an air conditioner blowing, knocking the blind lightly against the glass. Someone was having a conversation outside of the window and he could hear one of them laugh. He was back in Otoya’s room. </p><p>“Please, just talk to me.” Otoya held his cheeks firm in place, forcing blue eyes to stare into red ones. Behind the determination and the resolve was a look of pure love, a dedicated love that was sure of what it wanted. Tokiya prayed he could have that same strength. </p><p>“I just…” He began, his voice already breaking as the tears laced his voice. “I’m scared. I’m scared of letting you down. I’m scared of you leaving. I’m scared that none of this is real and I’ve just been blindly following my heart. I’m scared of everything and nothing at the same time and I just wish that I wasn’t such a coward for once.” He paused for a moment, releasing a shaky sob before moving on to continue. </p><p>“I’m so used to there being some form of logic behind these things, like a reasonable explanation that can explain why I feel the way I do. But, when it comes to you, nothing makes sense. You’ve shown me so many things that I never thought of. It’s like every day is an adventure. I’ve been in love before, but it feels like I’m doing it for the first time with you. You…I love you.” There it was. The three words he had never said. The three words he was afraid of. The silence in the air hung heavy, filled only by breathing and soft knocks of the blinds against the window. The people outside had long since left and it felt as if they were only two people in the universe.</p><p>“I love you too.” Came the response. It was slow, deliberately slow as if Otoya had to make sure that the words came out just right. They were released in a low whisper, but to Tokiya, it was like a bomb going off. That same warmth came to his chest and he swore the smile that bloomed on Otoya’s face could rival the sun. </p><p>“To be honest, I was scared too.” Otoya continued. “I started noticing you during the last few months of fall semester and I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time. But back then I kept siking myself out cause I was scared that I would just be a bother. When I actually got to talk to you last month, I thought I came on too strong, but you still put up with me despite everything. You actually showed me you cared and you wanted to be with me.” </p><p>With a touch as light as a feather, Otoya kissed away Tokiya’s fallen tears before brushing his hair behind his ear. </p><p>“I love you,” He said. “<i>All</i> of you. And I hope that you can love all of me too.” There was another brief silence, another moment to hold breaths and think of the right move. Tokiya closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath before leaning forward. It was a shot in the dark, an act of impulse that he let win over logic. The taste of mango chapstick met his lips, clumsily and shaking, but loving nonetheless. It was fleeting like a match lit up in the night. They sat back and stared at each other, looking into each other’s eyes for permission before going for another. And another. And as many as it would take until all they could think of, all they could feel, all that mattered was one another. </p><p>In between each kiss was a whispered “I love you,” a silent promise, a vow to never hurt each other again. Otoya crawled into the bed beside Tokiya, planting kisses on his face the whole way as he laid on top of him. Tokiya moved to run his fingers through the short strands of hair as they exchanged a much more passionate kiss, tongues experimentally sliding into mouths and awkwardly exploring. He could feel the passion building, the calming warmth transitioning to needy heat and part of him wondered if this was going to be the moment that he’d finally step into the world of adulthood. He never really thought about sex, but he’d always thought that his first time would at least be more planned out and organized than just a spontaneous desire. Part of him felt scared at the idea of going further, however, Otoya swiftly pulled his head away after a few more prodding touches. He was flushed red down to his collarbones while his hair was slightly ruffled from Tokiya’s touches. </p><p>“Wait, can we just lay here for right now?” He asked. There was a certain reluctance in his eyes bordering on fear and Tokiya hurriedly nodded his head in response. Otoya laid his head down onto his chest, allowing himself to be lifted by the rise and fall of each breath. The craving heat fizzled out until he was left with his previous warmth, allowing his heart to finally still its rampant pounding. </p><p>“Sorry about that,” Otoya stated. “Must’ve killed the mood.” Tokiya shook his head as he continued to toy with Otoya’s hair. </p><p>“It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to rush into anything you weren’t comfortable with,” He explained. “Besides, there are other things we can do to pass the time.” </p><p>Otoya met his eyes with a curious expression. </p><p>“Like what?” </p><p>The smile that formed on Tokiya’s face was like magic. </p><p>“You promised me a guitar performance, didn’t you?” </p><p>Otoya offered a knowing smile back. He scrambled over Tokiya to grab his guitar, allowing them to reposition themselves in the tiny bed. Otoya sat at the foot of the bed with his guitar in his lap while Tokiya sat near the top, hugging a pillow to his chest. </p><p>“You ready?” He asked with a gentle smile. Tokiya nodded his head, his own face beaming in anticipation. The strings started out slow and harmonious, a bit of showing off on Otoya’s behalf. His eyes were closed as he continued to play, the smile on his face leaving for a brief moment as he concentrated on forming the right melody. Tokiya nodded along as he quickly recognized the song. Apparently, they’d had the same thing in mind. The lyrics came to him almost naturally. </p><p><i>Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.</i> </p><p>Otoya’s smile grew as he listened to Tokiya’s voice, his fingers nearly slipping from how beautiful his harmony was. He couldn’t help himself from joining him.</p><p>
  <i>In other words, hold my hand. In other words, darling, kiss me.</i>
</p><p>By this point, they met eyes once more, unable to look away from one another. The infatuation between the two was magnetic and they could feel it pulling them closer once more. </p><p><i>Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore. You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.</i> </p><p>Tokiya closed his eyes once more, allowing the words to resonate within him. For once in his life, he could say with the utmost confidence that he felt loved. He was in love.</p><p>
  <i>In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey, remember when i said they were reading a book called fly me to the moon? well there's a call back to that (although i barely fucking talk about the book through this entire thing) i just really like the song (and evangelion)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The library was fairly silent that Sunday afternoon, just the way Tokiya liked it. This was exactly how he liked to spend his days, with a thick novel in his hands and a fresh thermos of coffee by his side. Since he established a relationship with Otoya last month, he hadn’t had the time to indulge in simple practices like this. That first sip of coffee was like magic. Not too hot, and flavored with a hint of hazelnut to bring out the richness of the brew. He opened his book, looking down at that pages as he prepared to become immersed in the story. </p>
<p>It was a newer novel that he’d gotten thanks to Otoya’s recommendation. The story was a retelling of Little Red Riding, where a young boy befriends the wolf who attempts to capture him and the two navigate the world as everything gets in their way. It was right in Tokiya’s wheelhouse with having extensive lore and fantasy elements, with just enough shounen elements to keep Otoya interested as well. He was halfway through the page when he felt a sudden pressure on the top of his head. </p>
<p>“So, you’re starting without me?” A familiar voice noted from above him. Tokiya chuckled as he closed the book on his thumb, using his free hand to place his palm on Otoya’s cheek.</p>
<p>“You know I can’t help myself.” Otoya placed a quick kiss on Tokiya’s cheek as he slid into his seat. </p>
<p>“You’re lucky you’re cute.” The two smiled at each other for a brief moment, enjoying the love they could see in each other’s eyes. That vibrancy, that light, whatever you wanted to call it. The thing that told you that you had someone’s heart under lock and key. </p>
<p>“So, what do you think so far?” Otoya asked as he snuggled into his boyfriend’s side. </p>
<p>“It’s actually pretty interesting. I haven’t gotten too far but I do like the character so far. I really like the banter between Blood and Randolph.” </p>
<p>“I figured you’d like that. It has the right amount of sarcasm for you.” </p>
<p>Tokiya gave him a small glare as he pulled his lips into a frown. </p>
<p>“Well don’t say it like it’s a bad thing.” </p>
<p>Otoya laughed a little as he nuzzled closer into Tokiya’s neck. The smell of his cologne was refreshing, like clean linen’s fresh off the laundry line. </p>
<p>“Instead of bickering with me, how about you keep reading?” Otoya taunted. Tokiya stuck his tongue out before returning to the pages, immediately diving back into the fantasy world. Otoya loved moments like these, the little moments where he could admire Tokiya in all his glory. Admittedly, he tried to read the books that they picked out, but he was more often interested in Tokiya’s beauty rather than whatever words sat on the page. From the fluffiness of his eyelashes to the shimmers of blue in his raven hair, everything about him was breathtaking. How he ever managed to actually steal his heart was beyond him, but he was far from complaining. As Tokiya began to move on to the next chapter, he took note of the dreamy look on Otoya’s face. </p>
<p>“You’re doing it again,” Tokiya warned. Otoya fluttered his eyes, playing innocent. </p>
<p>“Doing what?” </p>
<p>“Falling in love with me.” </p>
<p>“Can you blame me?! You’re just so…so…” </p>
<p>“So?” Tokiya repeated mockingly. Otoya pinched the bridge of his nose with a pout. </p>
<p>“So annoying!” He whined. Tokiya grabbed his hand and placed a gentle kiss against his fingers. </p>
<p>“But you love me.” He placed a few kisses against his cheeks before moving to take Otoya’s lips, savoring the taste for as long as he could. The mango chapstick had run its course, so today’s flavor was a sweet cherry. Although it wasn’t his favorite, Tokiya could still appreciate it whenever he and Otoya shared a quick kiss before heading to class.</p>
<p>“Must you two lovebirds be so annoying?” Tokiya opened his eyes to find Ren standing at the front of their table, his hand wrapped around Masato’s waist. The duo looked as if they just rolled out of bed with Ren wearing a hoodie with a messy bun in his hair, while Masato had a baggy sweatshirt and sandals on his feet. </p>
<p>“Let them live, Ren. They seem happy together.” Masato said with a warm smile. </p>
<p>“We can get mushier,” Otoya replied. Ren rolled his eyes as he moved his hand to cover Masato’s eyes. </p>
<p>“Please don’t,” He grumbled. “Are you coming to breakfast or what?” Tokiya looked at the time, noting how close they were to noon. Time always seemed to fly when he was with Otoya.</p>
<p>“We’ll be there in a moment. Head over without us.” He stated. Ren didn’t have to be told twice before heading to the door, with Masato offering the duo a quiet apology. Ren was never a morning person, and he especially wasn’t fond of the constant lovey-dovey couple things that Otoya and Masato thought of. Their double date Sunday breakfasts were a staple that Tokiya had grown to love the longer he indulged in them. He wasn’t really one to eat with others, but he found that eating with the group was actually much more enjoyable. The added conversation served to make him feel less anxious in the mornings and it gave him an excuse to be with Otoya. Who knew being in love could be so fun?</p>
<p>“Well looks like our time was cut short,” Tokiya said with a sigh. “Let’s head over.” He got up from his seat, getting ready to tuck his books back into place when he felt Otoya tug on his arm. </p>
<p>“Wait,” Otoya stated. Tokiya turned to meet his gaze. “I wanna try something.” </p>
<p>Curious, Tokiya sat back down in his seat, allowing Otoya to take the lead. </p>
<p>“You better make it quick or else Ren’s gonna be pissed.” He noted. Otoya nodded as he lifted the book from the table, holding it open in front of their faces. Tokiya quirked an eyebrow at the display. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” He questioned.</p>
<p>“Don’t you wanna be like one of those couples from the movies?” Otoya explained. </p>
<p>“You can’t be serious,” Tokiya replied. Otoya pouted his lips. </p>
<p>“Please! I just wanna try it out!” He whined. The longer Tokiya stared at those puffed out cheeks, he knew he couldn’t help himself. Otoya’s puppy dog eyes were always a total knock out. </p>
<p>“Fine. Just this once.” The smile on Otoya’s face was immediate, and Tokiya quickly replicated it. Their lips met in several rounds, as Otoya could never stop himself at just one kiss. There would always have to be a follow-up and one more just to be safe. And Tokiya loved every single one of them. Because he loved Otoya; and Otoya loved him. And that was all they needed any more.</p>
<p>It was a perfect ending to a not-so-perfect story. A story that they would grow to cherish and hold dear to their hearts. A story they wouldn’t change for anything in the world. A story of two clumsy beats learning to follow the same melody. And as bumpy and awkward as it was, it was a story only they could make.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for going on this journey with me! sorry this took so long but I'm glad that i actually managed to finish it! hope y'all enjoyed my self-indulgent nonsense &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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